I’m going to be completely honest…I don’t really know that much about Chrissy Teigen. In fact, I can probably list on one hand the number of things that I know about her. Let’s give it a shot.
- She’s married to John Legend.
- She’s gorgeous.
- Her Instagram feed cracks me up on a regular basis.
- I’m pretty sure she co-hosts a show about lip syncing.
There, four things, that’s about the extent of what I know about this woman. As of this past Friday, however, I can add one more…apparently, she’s a genius.
A Facebook friend of mine posted an article last Friday that was called, “Chrissy Teigen Nails Why You Should Never Ask a Woman Why She Doesn’t Have Kids.” Intrigued, I opened it up and started reading. It was discussing a recent interview in which she broached the topic of married (or unmarried) women constantly being questioned as to when, and if, they plan on having children. In the article, Chrissy opened up about her own struggles with infertility. Here’s a quote from the interview that really puts things into perspective:
“Anytime somebody asks me if I’m going to have kids, I’m like, ‘One day, you’re going to ask that to the wrong girl who’s really struggling, and it’s going to be really hurtful to them.”
Before I discuss this any further, let me say this. I’m one hundred percent guilty of asking this question. I don’t want to be a hypocrite and pretend that I don’t, or haven’t. I feel as though the topic of children has just become a conversation piece in our society. If someone gets married, people feel as though the next natural step is children, therefore, it often doesn’t feel like overstepping boundaries when we bring the subject up. Unfortunately, we act as though we all have license to this information, when in reality it is an extremely personal area that we all need to stay out of.
After my husband and I got married, the subject of children was brought up instantaneously. And I mean that quite literally. As we made our way around the reception room to greet the guests at our wedding, you wouldn’t believe how many times we were asked when we’d be having a baby. Come on people! Let the bride and groom at least have a piece of cake before you bring up their inevitable procreation!
As time went on, the questions came at a more rapid pace. Each time I was asked, a little more salt was poured into the wound. Do you want to know why it took my husband and I so long to have a baby? Because we knew it wasn’t going to be easy. From day one of our marriage, we pretty much knew that IVF was going to be our answer. We weren’t stupid; the price of in vitro fertilization is astronomical. We also knew that once we started the process, the process would pretty much own the majority of our time. It was a huge commitment that we needed to be one hundred percent prepared for. What I wouldn’t have given to have just gotten pregnant the old-fashioned way without a care in the world.
Please don’t think this is about bashing everyone out there who doesn’t have fertility struggles. This is not a woe is me, pity party kind of thing. It’s a respect thing. Every person’s story is different, and we need to be kind and considerate of any, and all, situations.
So woman to woman (and men too, if you’re reading this), stop asking this unnecessary question! It is none of our business when someone else is choosing, or not choosing, to have children. We have no rights to the information, nor do we have the right to an opinion on the subject. Nobody has any idea what is going on behind the scenes. And you have no way of knowing how hurtful your myriad of questions can really be. Whether it’s family, friends or some girl you went to high school with…just don’t ask. When the women of the world are ready to discuss their reproductive capabilities and decisions, I’m sure they’ll let us know.
While I’m quite positive, Chrissy Teigen was not the first person to have this thought; it’s a breath of fresh air to have someone bringing it up. Every now and then, we need to be confronted with our tendency to overstep boundaries and be put back in place. So thank you Ms. Teigen. Your beautiful honesty reigns supreme.